can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
