i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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