I think I died a long time ago.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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