It's like God shit irony all over that family
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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