marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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