you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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