Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
