You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Randomize
