the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize