i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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