I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
