just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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