I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
