Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
