He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
