I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Im part way to drunk.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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