Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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