Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
