im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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