I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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