I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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