so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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