while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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