Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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