Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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