I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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