He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
