how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
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if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
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That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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