erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
