If that was your dad, he is hot
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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