"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This beer is not sobering me up at all
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
