I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
