so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i came on her dog
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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