Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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