I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Congratulations! We have a period
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
