While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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