I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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