is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
