I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
