oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
