my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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