I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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