i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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