somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
