I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just saw a hot homeless man
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
