he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
