I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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