i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize