the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
