and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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