last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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