Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
