fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
