Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
