lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
