I cockslap morals
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
