He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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