turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have aggressive nipples.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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