i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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