next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
