I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
