just tell him i said nine months
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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