Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
