i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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