Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Randomize
