so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
