New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
